Another Sheep, Called Home...

Well damn... certainly didn't expect to follow-up a post as light-hearted as my last with 1 like this, but such is life I've learned. Today, during the wee hours of the morning, my favorite cousin (the 1 closest to me in age) died in her sleep. Don't have any details on what happened at this point, but does it really even matter? 

We went to Howard together for 2 years, I loved her dearly. But admittedly, I'm becoming quite accustomed to losing great people in the midst of their prime. She was just 32 years old, much like my best friend VAM (who died within a week of her birthday), April's birthday is this Thursday.

She lived in LA, but was actually set to return east later this month to move-in with my brother & I until she found a place of her own. I expect she'll most likely be buried in Halifax, VA - where most of our family is from, as we don't have much family in California.

Few things in life prompt people to take inventory & count their blessings like a death will, especially a premature death. It always makes you think of how short life is & how we don't get nearly enough days to enjoy those we love the most. 

I just keep thinking about her mother. April was an only child & her father died years back so this has to be so hard on her to handle alone. My mother is in the air as I type this so atleast she'll have a sister at her side soon.

I'll always treasure the times she & I were afforded on this Earth. I sincerely hope we eventually cross paths again someday, scratch that - I KNOW I'll see you in the next lifetime, just doesn't make today any easier. Until then, know that you are loved hun...

Sour Grapes...

Today marks a year since Vam has been gone from this world (in the physical sense anyway), and though I'm growing more accustomed with the fact that she's no longer here, I feel the void within my heart will remain for quite some time to come, if not always.

It's not that I feel there were things left unsaid or anything like that. Hell, Vam knew damn-well just how much I loved her & I never once felt those sentiments weren't reciprocated on her part... I just miss her.

Vam always enjoyed celebrating birthdays - her own as well as each of her closest friends' special days. In keeping with that spirit, a few of VAM's closest friends, including my brother & I, will be gathering Sunday morning to visit her gravesite & have breakfast in downtown DC afterwards. I look forward to breakfast, but not so much the cemetery.

In a year's time, I still haven't been able to visit her grave, partly because I KNOW she's not really in there, another part of me just doesn't want to realize the finality that seeing her headstone might bring. I'm hoping visiting her grave along side of friends & family will make things a bit easier to deal with...

I know you're still with us Vam, I can feel you everyday. Continue to look over us as we await the day we'll all be together once more I love you...