Kind Words...

Sometimes words of appreciation, no matter how brief, can be so very encouraging. 

It's just nice to know that the support one lends, is in fact, appreciated by another individual, on some level. 

I haven't always found that to be the case, so it's definitely refreshing to get an old-fashioned "thank you" from time to time. A hand-written note, sent via snail-mail, makes the gesture all the more rare.It's not really our fault, or maybe it is, rather... but at any rate, we're so spoiled by technology, the digital-age has really severely hampered our ability to connect with one another on a personal basis - so much that we rarely take the time to extend heart-felt sentiments anymore. 

Personally, I find it's the small things like this, that leave the biggest impressions upon me. The (above pictured) thank you note got me to thinking of just how infrequently we stop to express our feelings of gratitude with those who have assisted us, at some point, along the way. 

Certainly, I too, have been guilty of such omissions... but I do try my best to give people roses, while they can still smell 'em. The way I see it, an overdue thank you is very much akin to no thank you at all. As with most things in life, timing is everything...

Smitten (adj.) - marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness...

At the very adamant request of a dear friend earlier, I decided to post, lol. My friend pointed out that it's been over 2 months since I last blogged & I've got the time tonight, so I figured I'd oblige - even though I never intended to publicly express the following at such an early stage. 

Fuckit, it's the only relevant thing I've got going on right now, lol.

You see, I met someone, well sort-of anyway. I've actually known this person all along, but only recently involved myself romantically. It's different, but a good kind of different & better still, nothing about it feels forced. She wants to be here & I certainly desire the company she provides. 

Granted, it hasn't even been 2 full months since we've been dating, still - I'm cautiously optimistic because I believe in her.

It's funny because we're actually quite the opposite of 1 another in many instances, but I think it's the friendship we've forged over the years that makes the realization of such difficult to observe most times. 

It almost seems impossible to express how frustrating it's been to be the 2nd choice of so many women I've fancied in recent years, especially considering how much of an upgrade I would've been to the previous clowns they've dated, lol. I've constantly been ignored & picked-over before most recently being placed on standby.

Well if you know me, than you also probably know that I'm nobody's 2nd option. The mere suggestion of such, or really, ANY form of feet-dragging at all, completely turns me off & I'm instantly disenchanted. The way I see it, you're either with it, or you're not - anything in-between is a waste of everyone's time.

I hold very little respect for folk who have what they claim to ultimately desire, but fear the unknown thereby failing to own what they've already won. I certainly make no apologies for recognizing my own self-worth either. I've grown to be an expressive, dependable partner & I look forward to demonstrating all that I've learned.

Plus she knows me well, so it was nice being able to skip past the initial getting to know 1 another phase & move directly into courtship. Although the friendship we shared before was exclusively plutonic in nature, our current union definitely seems like a no-brainer, so I'm glad we threw caution to the wind. After-all... without risk, there can be no reward.

Oh Yea??? It's cool, bet that...

So... it seems the world seems to has effectively forgotten about the kid, eh? Well check this out, I've decided to forget about the world. Yunno, those I never call, or who never call me? Deleted. Ex-girl('friends') who've lingered for years, but have no intentions of somehow developing anything meaningful? Deleted. Reluctant women who I've recently pursued, but to no avail - ALL deleted, deleted, deleted. You've been nothing but a huge waste of my fucking time, lol.

Long story, short... I've decided to nix the folks who don't enhance my life to some degree. In addition, I'm taking a break from social networking for the time being, as I no longer have any desire to update those connected to my past, with any of my current comings & goings. Why wait for the new year when I can cut the fat right now?

The way I see it, I've waited my entire life for people to act right & since that still isn't happening, its well beyond time for me to cultivate an entirely new crop of humans for harvest. Don't get me wrong, I'm not angry with any of the folk referenced above - but I'm very much offended & no longer care enough to carry each respective 'friendship' on my own.

You see, I've discovered that (outside of a few loyal niggaz) I've got 1 person I can count on in this world, ONE! The rest of my associations are comprised of people who are very much interested in getting theirs & really couldn't care less about the potential impact upon others.

Clearly these aren't healthy relationships worth preserving in the 1st place, so with that in mind, I'm consolidating my efforts, & strictly looking out for those who look out for me. Where exactly do I go from here, you ask? I've got no idea & to be quite honest - I'm absolutely terrified.

What I'm NOT afraid of is cutting my losses, & moving onto better opportunities in life. Any friends, family or lovers who truly wanted to be here... would be here - PERIOD. We've all got different priorities in life, so if you've chosen not make me 1 of yours, I'm completely cool with that, just don't expect me to check for you anymore either.

At this point, there isn't a soul who'll save me except for myself, life has proven that much, but I've finally come to terms with that & you know what? I feel better about it already... silly rabbits.

Trick or Treat?

It's Halloween, the cold weather is upon us here in the DC area & I ain't got no ‘boo’ lined-up for the winter - ahhh... but what can you do about it? Not a damn thing, that's what, lol. But seriously, I really do love this time of year & girlfriend or not, fall is my very favorite season!

There’s football, cooler temps, pumpkin-flavored coffee (another fav) & 3 major holidays (if you count new years) – it's great! It's also the time of year where I generally see more of my friends & family that have been estranged, so I'm looking forward to reconnecting with my peeps!

I picked up jogging earlier in the year, so the next few weeks will be my 1st true experience with longer distance running during the fall/winter months, but already I’ve noticed how much easier it is to pump-out a 4-mile run with cooler weather, perhaps it’s time to raise the bar again.

Oh & I think I'd like to hit a ski resort someplace up in the mountains at some point this winter, the last time I went on trip like this, I really enjoyed myself - I'll have to put a few 'feelers' out there & see who's interested in some drunken-mess fuckery in the snow, lol.

I encourage you to relieve some of that stress that everyday life can bring & take-in more of the sights & sounds of fall. Thanksgiving & the holiday season will be here before we know it & I'm ready for it! I can already taste the wonderful food & hear the echoes of uncontrollable laughter now.

Be sure to enjoy it all folks!

Spring Cleaning...

Between the beginning of the 2011 & now I've been quietly cleaning house in the background, you know... getting rid of the people who clearly mean me no good & focusing more on those closest to me. I'm all about positive reinforcement, people & surroundings nowadays, so I just don't have the time to deal with those who don't factor into that equation at the present the moment. I'm just about done so, good riddance to all who've been unproductive pests, the role you've played (or haven't) in my life is now complete :-D

[Old News:]

Much like perishable food items, some friends/associates also have expiration dates. These individuals could be those special people you have a 'history' with, or simply childhood friends who need to remain just that. Often times they've been extremely fun to be around, so it's easy to overlook the fact that things have changed. Still, it's important to keep an eye on who's been around beyond their expected shelf-life & make the necessary cut-backs when required. In my mind it's better to cut ties with 'em now, rather than continue the absolute weirdness of the current experience.

[Toxic Agents:]

I feel like there are some people who just come out the womb with nothing but evil intentions for the world. They're just no-good. I've got an ex-girlfriend who for the life of me will not get lost! She remains present for 1 reason only, to haunt me, lmao. What she has to offer could benefit me in no way, shape, or form. This time I've finally abstained. C'mon, you too know these kind of people, they aren't really here, but they won't truly leave either. Well, I've finally kicked these people to the curb - haven't bothered to look back either, that would slow me down.

[Takers:]

Some are rather skilled at accepting, but not so well-versed in the art of giving. Recently someone went missing in action on me after receiving a loan. No visits, calls, texts, emails or anything regarding the delayed repayment (or 'perceived' friendship for that matter). Funny thing is, I never loan money I can't afford to lose, so the bread ain't an issue since I gladly would've extended the loan indefinitely, but the avoidance tactic bugs me. But I've already mentally written it off as a gift & beyond today's post, there will never be mention of it again. Needless to say, bridges such as these must be burned... to the ground.

[Undecided:]

Then there are those who I'm just not sure about. They've displayed no obvious character flaws from the outset, but for whatever reason, they haven't let me in either. Not a move I'd encourage - you see, I don't open up to anyone who isn't reciprocating the very same action, so in reality, the only time being wasted is theirs. Besides, it'll soon become clear, whether they belong in 1 of the groups described above or below this section.

[Outer Ring:]

My collection of friends/associates who are indeed good people, just not the folk I'd interact with on a daily/weekly basis. They're cool enough to hit happy hour with, but haven't demonstrated the dependable characteristics required for me to completely endear myself. I probably wouldn't invite 'em to the spot, nor would I seek advice from this set of friends beyond anything trivial in nature. But thats not to suggest I don't serve in such a capacity on their behalves, because I do! But I'm not surprised when members of this group let me down - it's life, shit happens.

[Inner Circle:]

On the other hand, there have been those who've done nothing but support my every move & who have always been there. It's these people I know I can truly count on & it feels SO good to know they'll always be the wind at my back & not the spit in my face like so many others. Spring cleaning activities such as this, make me appreciate them all the more! Truly good friends are few in number, I understand this perfectly now.

[Family:]

Ahhh... the only group whose membership I don't control. But at the end of each day, these people inspire & encourage me to move beyond life's troubles & setbacks. The love they extend is a genuine, unwavering affection & serves as affirmation of the fact that it's NOT all about me. I think we get what we put-out into the world & I come from a family of pleasers, so it makes perfect sense that everyone in the fam is doing well. I'm definitely sticking with the flow.

In conclusion, I'm certain some people (those who actually know me) are reading this & scrambling to figure out just where they fall with respect to each of the groups listed above. To those, my suggestion is simple - cut the bullshit, you know exactly where we stand & quite obviously, so do I...

Just When You're Least Expecting It...

Earlier in the evening while leaving work, I bumped into an ex-girlfriend, or rather, she nearly ran me off the road as I crossed the street, lol. Upon passing me, she realized it was me & stopped about 50-feet ahead of the direction in which I was walking. After approaching the vehicle, quite an awkward moment ensued as realized just who was in the driver's seat. Neither of us had reached out to communicate with 1 another since the last time we spoke, more than 6 months ago.

The pleasant, albeit, brief encounter was a nice way to close-out 2010. It's never good to start a new year with grudges, so it was nice to at least somewhat discover that there really wasn't much ill-will, if any harbored by either party at this point. We exchanged pleasantries, kept the talk small & that was that. I told her how appropriate the chance meeting seemed to me, gave her some quick directions to her intended destination & we both continued on with our lives.

As I rode the subway home, I thought of her - she wasn't at all the fixed image of a presumptuous, bitter & out of control individual burned into my mind 6 back. I haven't a clue as to what she's been up to since that time, but she appeared to being doing well & I was happy for her. With that being said, there still time left in the year to try & repair any failed friendships that you value, if the spirit moves you, of course. Honestly speaking, I should probably be taking my own advice here, but the truth is that I don't want to risk ruining what could end up being the final lasting images that she & I share of 1 another.

Before this evening, my memories of her were filled with strife, misunderstanding & what must have been a feeling of resentment on my part. While I can't speak for her thoughts at the time, I'd like to think that she too left with, a sense of hope. She definitely wasn't the worst girlfriend I'd ever had (those honors currently belong to another woman whom I no longer speak of, lol). With she & I, guess it was just the all-too-typical story of the unstoppable force meeting an immovable object & for that reason, I no longer stand in front of trains.

Perhaps your situation is a bit less complicated than mine, if so by all means, extend the olive branch 1 last time if you've got that special someone who's been estranged in your life (vice versa) as of late. Who knows? He or she might just feel the exact same way about you...

IFFL Championship Game!!!

The championship game for the men’s flag football team I’ve been a part of for the past three years is now upon us. Last fall we came up short in the title game & ended up with a sour, 2nd place taste left in our mouths – while silver is indeed one of my three favorite colors, it would be really nice to take home the gold this season!!!

There were quite a few bitter feelings shared among many of our players at the conclusion of

last year’s championship game & those feelings even spilled into the spring season, which we ended up not taking part in as a result. So this fall we established a new team name, new uniforms & a renewed sense of camaraderie.

We’ll be facing a team that we lost to during the regular season. They’re clearly the most athletic team in the league – but I’ve got a feeling we’ve found a few holes in their scheme to exploit this Sunday, hopefully what we’ve learned about their team thus far will help us out in that regard.


We lost 27-7 during that regular season match-up & though there are no excuses in sports, we were missing some major components from ourtypical game-plan (due to several missing players & hell – even I showed up late for the game now that I think about it). I’m wondering if the other squad will come into the championship game feeling a bit over-confident. If so, it’ll be bad news for them!

I'm actually considering hanging up the cleats for good after the big game. But I'm hardly sure whether this is or isn’t my farewell tour. If I did stop playing, I’d need to pick up another activity to make up for that portion of exercise I'd be losing. At this point, I haven't a clue what said activity would be.

I’ve typically had similar feelings following the conclusion of the past couple seasons. I guess I'll make that decision next spring, when I'm actually forced to. One thing I DO know is that it’s been a great ride with these guys & I’d hate to not ever see many of them again, so I’ll give it much thought over the next 3-4 months.

It’s been a great run, getting to know & play with these guys who come from so many different places & walks of life. If indeed I do decide to retire from the team/league at the conclusion of this postseason, I’ll walk away with no regrets – knowing full well that is was an absolute honor to complete & sweat with such a great group of men.

A Psychic, I am NOT...

It never ceases to amaze me just how much talking is done about open lines of communication (in regard to interpersonal relationships with folk), yet we still tend to expect people to somehow be clairvoyants in the end. If you take a moment to step back & analyze it from afar, it’s usually pretty cut & dry type of thing: either you open your mouth to voice your opinion on a certain topic, or carry it to your grave, minus the bitching & groaning after you realize that you should have spoken on it at the time. It's just not fair to the other person at that point.

That’s my take on it anyway. Maybe there should be an unwritten (or written, lol) rule somewhere that stipulates forfeiture of all future complaints, viewpoints & out-right whining beyond the “open-comment period,” lol. It always bugs me when people let negative emotion build-up, especially when you’re begging for their input in the 1st place. Then out of no where, they spring it on you down the road as if it’s been an issue they’ve openly expressed all along.

We’ve got to start doing better than this people. I think the difficulty of feeding a closed mouth has been well documented over the years. It may be time for us all to walk the walk & be more honest & upfront with one another. Granted we all have our faults & things we’d perhaps change about our unique personalities if given the chance, but since that’s not gonna happen, let’s seriously give this honesty thing a try & live life in a more proactive manner across the board.

Excuse this overly used cliché but let’s ‘be real’ here. No significant other, friend, parent, co-worker or stranger has much chance of knowing what’s on your mind at any given moment, so why not make like a little easier on entire world & just say what’s on your mind while it’s still a relevant topic of discussion.

Most times when people take issue with any normal day-to-day routine or business that directly impacts their lively-hood or well being, the time is taken to correct the issue right then & there. So why do treat our day-to-day relations with actual people any differently? Your honest thoughts have little to no value once there’s nothing that can be done about it, so step up & take the lead in your success story and stop waiting for someone else to write the script.

In a perfect world, I’d love to help as many people as I can. But I can’t, so I chose to 1st help the most important person to me – myself. If that calls for being honest in the expression of my feelings (& taking on the bad guy role) regarding any given subject, it’s my responsibility to myself to do just that. It’s rather liberating (even in ultimate failure) to know that you gave your all, but when you know there are things you left on the table that might have changed things… well, I’m sure you get the drift.

I’d expect the same from you – otherwise, how can the issue ever get resolved? I’m very receptive to people who take the time indicate their desires – besides, what have you really got to lose in end? The worst thing any person can say to you is ‘no,’ at last check, not many people die from that. On the other hand, if you’re not willing to 1st be honest with yourself & me, in-turn… guess you can pretty much miss me with that bullshit, lol. Ok end-rant    the “open-comment period” for this post begins now, lmao…

Gone, but NEVER forgotten...

Hard to believe you've been gone an entire year Ben, but I know you've got the party goin up there! You were a really good dude & fortunately, I got to know a side of you that I know many never got to see. You always managed to make the best out of whatever hand life dealt you. I always admired you for that & I'm doing my best to carry-on the same mentality you did whenever it comes down to life's sour grapes.

I often think of your son & the care-free, loving father that he'll never get to know the way I did. You were often misunderstood by many, but never by 'us,' and I hope you came to know that before you went on to that better place. It was amazing to see so many people who came together for your funeral. I'm sure you're aware of this now but even Velenda was there and now you're both together & while I miss the hell out of her as well, it's kinda appropriate that the two of you are now together, so send her my love her as well.

As for the homies, they all miss you too & the fantasy football league just hasn't been the same without ya. It's funny every time I log onto the Playstation Network to play Madden, I see your inactive icon in the corner of the screen and I think of how it will never be active again, meaning no more late-night games of Madden against you while the two of us are on opposite ends of town. I miss that. You'll be proud to know that your Redskins are playing well, they still don't want to see my Ravens tho, lol.

Anyways, really miss ya man... Keep lookin out for ya boy.

Okay, Not a Bad Date at All...

Typically, the movie theatre isn't really ideal for a 1st date but I think this time was an exception. Me & Ms. X seemed to hit it off the same way we did during our initial encounter weeks back when I met her in Miami. After taking in a movie, we stopped by the bar for a drink or two and a lil more convo.

Midway thru our time at the bar I realized I must've been enjoying myself as I hadn't even noticed that the 1st NFL action of the season was taking place. I'm glad I DVR'ed the game (as I'm watching it now) cuz I really didn't pay it any attention while in the company of my date.

Don't get me wrong, of course I've had good dates before, so it's not like I'm making any wedding arrangements, but it was certainly a nice change of pace to enjoy an evening with someone with whom I was truly interested in. We seemed to be laughing all night long, so I didn't feel like I was the only one diggin the evening. I'm glad we got the opportunity to hook up.

She really does seem like a sweetheart - all & all, it's just exciting to learn someone new. And at the end of the day, I think I made a new friend regardless of where things go from here, so that alone makes the evening a success in my mind.

Dating has been somewhat disappointing for me as of late. Just don't feel like I'm getting the caliber of women I'm looking for, so I'm definitely due for a woman who knocks me off my feet. It's not as easy for a guy to find a quality single women as it once was, so it always makes me a lil irate when I hear ppl talk about the small pool of black men available to black women, when all the while I know the task is just as difficult for the black man

Interesting Reaction (to say the least)...

So the 1st green text message you see here to your left is from last night. Now you tell me, what on earth would warrant such a response? Keep in mind, there was no prior dialogue or bad blood of any nature that preceded my initial text.

For those of you who might not be that familiar with SMS shorthand, "w/e" signifies "whatever." I'm not sure who pissed in her cereal, but apparently I'm the 1 who earned the distinct pleasure of feeling her wrath, lol. Perhaps some people are just confrontational for no reason at all. I never got a reply to the 2nd green text message, but just in case I didn't feel the salt in her lone reply last night, she went the extra mile & de-friended me on Facebook, lol - wow, really tho?

As you might imagine, I won't be extending the olive branch anytime soon in regard to this silly knee-jerk reaction, but damn, I'd be a liar if said I didn't wonder what brought this on. Ah well.. what can you do, right? Just a lil suggestion for any of you who might decide to 1 day take some bold stance against someone, requiring such antics - make sure the person understands why you ain't fukkin wit em no more. Otherwise you're the one that actually comes off lookin crazy. I'm just sayin'...