Gone, but NEVER forgotten...

Hard to believe you've been gone an entire year Ben, but I know you've got the party goin up there! You were a really good dude & fortunately, I got to know a side of you that I know many never got to see. You always managed to make the best out of whatever hand life dealt you. I always admired you for that & I'm doing my best to carry-on the same mentality you did whenever it comes down to life's sour grapes.

I often think of your son & the care-free, loving father that he'll never get to know the way I did. You were often misunderstood by many, but never by 'us,' and I hope you came to know that before you went on to that better place. It was amazing to see so many people who came together for your funeral. I'm sure you're aware of this now but even Velenda was there and now you're both together & while I miss the hell out of her as well, it's kinda appropriate that the two of you are now together, so send her my love her as well.

As for the homies, they all miss you too & the fantasy football league just hasn't been the same without ya. It's funny every time I log onto the Playstation Network to play Madden, I see your inactive icon in the corner of the screen and I think of how it will never be active again, meaning no more late-night games of Madden against you while the two of us are on opposite ends of town. I miss that. You'll be proud to know that your Redskins are playing well, they still don't want to see my Ravens tho, lol.

Anyways, really miss ya man... Keep lookin out for ya boy.

And Life Resumes...

Finally homeward bound after a very good 4-day trip to Vegas. Got to catch up with a few folks from home, run with my partner in crime & as it would turn out - also spend some time with a new special friend of mine. I went to the Kevin Hart comedy show, hit a club, won big over the wknd by betting on some football games and just enjoyed the sights & sounds of the ever-so-busy Las Vegas Strip.

I even bumped into Brian Billick (2000 Super Bowl winning coach of my favorite NFL team, the Baltimore Ravens) while boarding the flight I'm currently on, so that was kinda cool. Now I'm just reflecting on the trip that was and also the months of grindin that I presently have before me. Time to really buckle down (financially speaking) & get things fully back in order for the Thanksgiving & Christmas seasons which are rapidly approaching.

I just might also be nearing a point where I'm ready to start a new relationship in the coming months. I've been dating a someone for the past couple of months & it actually appears that there just might be something to it. So if things continue to progress the way they've been thus far, just might end up with a cuddle buddy after all this winter. I've now come to the conclusion that living out the rest of my days in complete happiness trumps waiting for the perfect situation to come along.

So while this might not be the ideal situation I've always dreamed of in my head, it's definitely a situation that makes me happy. I haven't had the pleasure of uttering such words in terms of women in what has now become years. She's a considerate person who doesn't come-across as a know-it-all (I've had my share of those) & I'm in-turn able to sit back and trust the decisions she makes on a daily basis. She really seems to care & look out for my well-being (a missing aspect in my past one or two relationships), so I'm willing to take my time with her and allow things to develop naturally. She and I are by no means 'official' per se, but one never knows, things change quickly I've found in life, so stay tuned for the conclusion of this saga.

Failure after failure, I'm finally aware of the type of woman it takes to handle a guy such as myself, so hopefully I'm half the wonderful person I believe her to be. In either instance, I've completely moved beyond negative experiences of the past and have my eyes set upon the situations and people who are actively present in my life. I simply have no time for has-beens, coulda-beens & shoulda-beens - sometimes you have to use the 'addition by subtraction 'approach in order to truly enjoy & improve upon the quality of one's life. So how's the quality of yours?

AARP

Over the past year I've noticed that my parents have become alot more dependent upon me. It's not that they're any kind of nuisance to me, just an early indication of what is to come I figure. Small (but important) things in their home need maintenance more frequently & I'm finding that often times they're not even aware of issues that need immediate attention like they once were.

At times it's a struggle balancing when to tell Pops he just can't do something anymore vs. letting him attempt to complete the task & then going behind him later to complete the chore correctly. On the other hand, Ma is all to happy to see that I now make weekly visits to the house and welcomes any assistance, but I often catch her slippin at times in regard to the general upkeep of the home as well.

Alarms are often left unarmed, vehicle care is often only taken into account after something has gone majorly wrong, pretty much anything that requires more than just a bill to be paid is neglected much of the time. And on top of that I'm beginning to become more concerned about the overall health of both at this stage of their lives. I kinda wish my brother was a lil more involved at this point, but to be honest it's never really been his thing, so it's far from an indication of his love for both & I'm cool w/ takin care of shit til the light switch goes off in his head one of these days.

I'm also wondering how long the two of them will continue to work. Pops, can pretty much retire the moment he doesn't feel like waking up in the morning anymore, so who knows when that will be, but I'd like to see it happen some time in the very near future just so he can get some rest from life. As far as Ma, I'm not quite sure where she stands with her retirement benefits and such. She has worked for several employers over the past 25+ years so I'll have to look into that soon.

All and all, they're my folks and I was blessed to have the both of them around until this point in my life, so I'll do anything required for them. Have you begun to consider such things with regard to your parents or childhood guardians? If not, might be are good time to look into matters of the sort. The years are flying by, and their not getting any younger - & neither are you!