Happy Birthday Ghostwriter28.com

In recent weeks, I'd thought really long & hard about shutting-down this blog, especially in light of the fact that I'm up for my domain name renewal this July. I hadn't been posting nearly as much as I did during my first 2 years of  blogging anyway & on top of that I'd been down lately, so I was thinking I might be done with this blogging stuff. But a funny thing happened to me yesterday... I went back & actually read some of my sh!t. 

Reliving both some of my favorite & lesser moments served as a subtle kick in the ass, reminding me of my initial purpose for this blog. The following is the first line of my very first post: "In my never-ending quest for self-understanding & development, I decided it's high time I start a blog in an attempt to capture some of my most in-depth thoughts..." Now just how can I shut this website down after reading that??? Simple answer - I can't.

Four years ago I decided this blog might be a valuable tool in assessing not only where I am, but also, where I've been. Yesterday this blog proved it's worth to me. I've still only chosen to personally share this link with a few people I know, but perhaps I'll add a few others to the VIP list this year. At any rate, posting here continues to be therapeutic for me, so I remain grateful to have found such an excellent emotional release method.  

I guess this is kinda needless to say at this point, but this blog won't be going anywhere, anytime soon... so I guess you're stuck with me :-)

Best Laid Plans

If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that the best, most well-intentioned plans can & will fall-thru, more often than not, really. You know, those arbitrary deadlines we give ourselves to accomplish various milestones in life? Let’s see, things like: 

College graduation at 21, new home purchase at 23, settle-down & marry by 25, have kids at 28… what a bunch of bullsh!t. Just whose life-plan was I following? From this point forward, I’m not following a roadmap. I'm just living, rather.

I’m done with all that silly planning I used to do. If it feels right, I’m goin with it & without taking much time to 2nd guess myself about it either. Seems I’ve waited forever to accomplish certain things, either that, or for someone else to reach the point when they thought the timing was right. Screw that! Besides, some of the best experiences of my life took place when I completely pitched the script. I plan to fully LIVE life moving forward, avoiding most things conservative in nature along the way.

When I examine the lives of those close to me, some of whom never really bothered to plan at all, they aren’t in any worse of a position in life than myself. With that in mind, I can’t say that I really see the obvious advantage in being safe & playing my cards so close to the vest, shooting from the hip seems to afford one the same (if not better) result. It's not that I haven't been spontaneous in life, but at some of it's most crucial points, I made a safe wager, rather than bet it all – often at the urging of others.

So out go ALL of those previous plans, along with my various rules, and while I’m at it - many associated personal standards as well. My focus now lies upon my overall quality of life, rather than the order or manner in which said goals were or weren't accomplished (& who approved of such). If a given person, material possession or activity soothes my soul, then by all means, I’m riding the wave until the very end – if I wipe out, then I'll just be at the same place I began – so... no huge loss there, lol.

3rd Time's the Charm...

Since I started blogging back in 2010, I've posted about my intent to kick my habit of smoking twice -- I think maybe this 3rd time might actually be the real deal. It's now been 65 days since I last toked on a tobacco product of any sort & it feels great! No need to crack the window while driving anymore & no more ashes to clean up :-)

I've also noticed increased lung capacity while jogging or working out & according to my Livestrong Quit Smoking app, I've managed to save over $170. Better health & more money - who wouldn't welcome those results? Can't really say what it was that was different this time - I just know that it is.

I'm eating better too - an unintended byproduct, but welcomed all the same! Sadly, it costs a fortune to eat healthy in this country, but it's difficult to clean up my life in 1 regard without also focusing on other problem areas as well - so I'm leading a few projects right now, major renovations taking place over here.

Ironically, some of the very people who'd be most please with my progress have been absent in many regards. So for the most part, I'll alone reap the benefits while patting my own back. No worries tho, folk on the cusp of greatness often feel alienated, so I figure that means I'm on the right path.

I started with 2 quit coaches this go round, but due to 1 friend's recent move to another state, I'm down to just 1 who actually keeps me accountable. But Coach is a good coach who celebrates my accomplishments along with me & so far that's made a huge difference! I definitely need the crack of a whip at times.

Tomorrow, I head to the dentist for a major procedure I'd been putting off (until I could finally stay quit), another positive aspect of my newfound discipline. For the most part, my cravings are a thing of the past. It's not on my mind when I awake & I'm finding other things to do with my down time & idle hands.

I'm even able to drink alcohol & be around others who are smoking... something I never had the strength to handle without falling off the horse before. For this reason, I really do think I've finally turned the corner! Only thing left to do now is wait it out to see how long I can go.