Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Must be Nice...

Today Ma & Pops celebrated 40 wonderful years of marriage - Wow! A truly amazing feat given the fact that these days, the divorce rate equates to the simple flip of a coin.

I say this, not to demoralize those who are married or preparing for the big plunge, but rather to bring light to just how remarkable their accomplishment is! As a child, there was never a doubt in my mind as to who my best role models were. Even at such a young age, I could see the love they shared for 1 another & I never for a moment doubted if their love fully lent itself to both my brother & I. My only regret is that I can't be certain if they'll ever know the joys of being a grandparents - something I think they both deserve.

I often wonder what it might be like to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, for better & for worse. Clearly, I've never gotten close to that point, but it certainly hasn't stopped me from daydreaming. Think about it, a person to come home to & share life's daily triumphs & troubles with - how sweet must THAT be? As I type, I'm reminded of the Lyfe Jennings song, "Must be Nice," so much that I'll likely title this post as such.

While privileged to be raised by 2 great partners, I've also witnessed the many ways that a marriage shouldn't work. I've never experienced a bond both consistent & strong enough to suggest such a union - yet plenty of my family & friends have taken the next step in their respective relationships at various points & at best, the results have been mixed. Trust me, that's quite a generous assessment!

Generally speaking - I just don't think most people (myself included) possess the patience, courage & humility it takes to sustain such a relationship over time. Sure, there are plenty of people who welcome the idea, but in my opinion, folks put far too much value in winning individual battles, rather than achieving victory in this great war we've affectionately come to know as love. Ironically, I think it's this same, sad reality that's keeping me sane.

But don't get me wrong, I'm definitely keeping hope alive, but at this point, I just want someone I can stand to be in the same room with, lol. Lately, I've found myself in relationships where neither party seems to be willing to give an inch when it comes to typical (or atypical) quarrels. As a result, I've added the task of taking the proper prospective in & out of each disagreement to my list of things to improve upon in the future.

At the ripe age of 29, indeed, I'm still growing & I'd be the very 1st to admit it. What saddens me a bit is that I can't quite tell whether I'm growing with, or away from those I'd hoped would be closer to coming full-circle by now. It seems the latter has been the case & I don't like it AT ALL. Yet & still, I must do what's healthy for me, which includes knowing when to moving on.

Alas, with new beginnings come new experiences, ideas & people alike - as I press forward into 2011, I welcome the many challenges ahead...

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